I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
