found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize