Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
