Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize