Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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