On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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