Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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