hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
