is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
