I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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