And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
