so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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