david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We had sex on a dog bed..
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
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