Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
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I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
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I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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