butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes