ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for