i barfeds in our rink
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
