I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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