whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
