I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
