alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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