I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
