In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize