did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
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