too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
