her vagina looked like bernie madoff
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
