I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
