i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
