Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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