I'm lost and stupid without you.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
