names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
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Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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