Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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