On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
