what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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