Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
