She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
