you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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