You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
What drink are we having for lunch?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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