Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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