A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
