Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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