Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
