last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
