he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
