i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
