I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
