May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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