I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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