I just made out with a guy for $7.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
