He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Found your dick twin last night
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
