we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
