the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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