Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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