I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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