Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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