i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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