elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
