i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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