this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize