ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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