saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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