Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
