dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
